CoachingPosted by Martin 18 Jan, 2017 10:26
Tips on How to Move Forward
Towards Your End Goal
* Do not use the word "try" .
Try generally means a lack
* Do not let other’s negativity drag you down.
Surround yourself with
positive achievers and keep hindering thoughts from your mind.
* Do not let your own doubts and negative thoughts take over.
* Goals and milestone must be specific.
Using specifics (action and
date) helps you know when it is achieved.
* Focus on real dates for your goals.
Target and goals must not
have a Do By date of “sometime” !
* Break major goals down to bite size chunks.
This will help you keep
achieving and moving forward.
* Achieve small actions every day towards your goal.
* Do not let your own doubts and negative thoughts take over.
Doubts are normal, however
focussing on what you have achieved “the positives” will help. List all the
things achieved that day in the evening.
* Be held accountable.
Share your goals with a
trusted friend or coach to keep you on track.
Everyone has massive
potential and a Coach will help to get you from where you are now to where you
want to be.
* Focus on “wins”.
Wins are goals or milestones
achieved and help keep you positive. Reward yourself.
For more information contact
LifePosted by Martin 25 Aug, 2016 11:38
you ever had a bad day where things may not always go to plan?
we have a ‘bad day’ it can be unsettling and can lead to feelings of
you want to break out of a bad day and turn things around, there are a few ways
to make a bad day better:
1. Look for the lesson
we can beat ourselves up if we’ve made a mistake or something hasn’t worked out
the way we wanted.
next time you find your thoughts shifting to the negative stop and remember to
be kind to yourself by asking yourself questions such as:
- ‘What have I learnt from this situation?’
- ‘What would I do differently next time?’
- ‘What’s the silver lining from this situation?'
we choose to direct our minds towards empowering questions we transform the
negatives into positives which allows us to embrace our mistakes and keep
things moving forward.
2. Go for a walk
yourself from the situation and going for a walk can help reduce any tension or
stress you may have.
for a walk in the fresh air can help clear your mind and look at things with a
new perspective. This often helps you to relax and approach the situation with
a renewed sense of hope.
3. Get a Fresh Perspective
days can be challenging, maybe your work has piled up or you have a number of
people demanding your time. Get some perspective on the situation and remind
yourself that you’ve had days like this before and you got through them.
that it’s a temporary situation and that it’s a bad day, not a bad life helps
you to separate it from any unhelpful inner dialogue and cope with whatever may
be going on.
4. Spend time with friends
the only thing we need to take our troubles away, is to have a good
conversation with a friend.
out to one of your friends and set the intention to make them feel good about
themselves, often when we make others feel better, it can make us feel better
about ourselves too.
you could have a good catch up on the phone or meet up for a coffee and spend
some time having some fun.
5. Plan and Do something Nice for Yourself
something nice for yourself helps you change your mindset and have something to
look forward to.
you can plan to watch a funny film that you have wanted to watch or cook yourself
your favourite meal or have a special night out?
you do something nice for yourself it helps your troubles to fade away and
helps you to wake up seeing things with a more optimistic perspective.
a bad day doesn’t always equal a bad life, keeping things in perspective and
remembering that things could be worse can help you to snap out of it, in no
quite often come from the learning experience following a bad day.
If you would like to
know more about coaching, please contact Martin at New Focus Coaching.
CoachingPosted by Martin 03 Jun, 2016 10:32
Feeling excited about changing
something at work or in your life?
Then the fear and uncertainty
creeps in. Sounds familiar?
Human emotions are very powerful and occur
naturally when contemplating change. The internal voice and subconscious starts
making excuses for you, so you do not have to face the change.
Here are 5 reasons why we veer
away from change:
Initially you feel fired up, however after a
while working towards the change, it all feels too much of an effort. It may be
more effort than you originally thought and it is easier staying without the
A way to over come this is to
set smaller tasks and goals that lead towards the outcome you require. In this
way you are achieving and moving forward. It will also raise your
self-awareness, change can be achieved and remover the negative thoughts. Make
progress or make excuses!
Remember to celebrate each
successful step forward.
2. We Doubt Ourselves
Initially you may be excited planning the change or pursuing a passion, an
When you share your ideas with family and
friends, you may get some hesitant or negative responses e.g. “is it possible?”
“can you do it?” “is it worth it?”.
Your excitement and enthusiasm may suddenly get
replaced with an inner voice full of doubt that may question whether you’ve got
what it takes. It may tell you that it’s impossible and before you know it,
you’re talking yourself out of your idea.
To overcome this, revisit what made you feel
excited about the idea and what it would be like not to succeed. Talk to other
who have achieved similar ideas and how they went about it.
Surround yourself with positive
people who succeed. This will reduce the doubts you have.
3. Scared of Failure
Failure is something everyone is fearful of.
It can feel daunting when trying something new that will stretch your capability
and take you out of your comfort zone. Fear of failure, rejection and being
judged by others is usually underneath these feelings.
Maintaining these beliefs can
limit you from moving forwards and instead of embracing the unknown; you may
resist the uncomfortable feelings or use them as excuses to avoid feeling the
fear and doing it anyway.
To help overcome this, consider what options you have. Make smaller changes,
change the pace of change, outsource areas you are not totally comfortable
4. Too Soon
Ideas and dreams are great. However, if no action is taken they are just
Taking the first step is important and there can
be many excuses not to take this step. E.g. “It’s too soon, I’m not ready yet,
I still need to do X Y Z before I start”.
You may never be 100% ready to take that first
step and trying to make everything perfect can delay action forever!
Making a plan and having a list
of things that will enable you to take action will help you move forward and
Copying those who have already
‘been there and done that’ may help as well as reading inspirational stories
from people you admire.
5. Not Motivated
What is the real reason for making the change?
Sometimes ideas run away with
themselves and you may not be truly motivated to accomplish the planned change.
Become aware of what the key
drivers are for change, is it to avoid pain or to gain pleasure (the main human
instincts). What will be the end reward?
Focusing on the wrong driver
can cause your motivation to quickly dip and create excuses to give up. Only focus on changes that really resonate
with a coach can help in this area. Help to create a plan and then maintain
your momentum working towards your goal.
For further help in this area contact Martin at New Focus Coaching.
ChangePosted by Martin 22 Mar, 2016 11:50
Springtime is a lovely time of
year bringing sunshine and showers, baby lambs, crocuses and daffodils.
It is a time of new growth.
This has an affinity with coaching
and changing things in your life.
Coaching provides a platform
for new growth and new energy.
If you are stuck, lacking
energy and direction just like wintertime, post Christmas and the New Year
celebrations. Now is the time to refocus and grow!
Spring sunshine brings out the
best in people, it invigorates, it warms, it lifts human spirits and provides
the energy and impetus to take action. Coaching does the same, it brings out
the best in people, it energises, it lifts spirits and confidence and it gives
the impetus to take action.
Spring also brings with it rainy days and stormy
days and this can also be true for coaching. Think about new growth for a
moment, a snowdrop a spring flower. To grow it has to break the skin of the
bulb and then it has to force its tiny stem through the impacted hard ground.
Once it has broken free of the earth it has to grow and the beautiful flower
head eventually has to break free from its capsule by pushing away the sides of
the pod to enable it to show its best and achieve its true potential.
Alternatively, think about the lamb in the womb
of the sheep. It is safe, warm, easily fed and watered and is floating around
in embryonic fluid within its own comfort zone. Then suddenly and violently it
finds itself in the cold world, it has to learn to breathe, to drink from its
mother to walk and then to fend for itself. All of these activities are scary,
dangerous and exhilarating as the lamb grows in confidence.
These two scenarios reflect the coaching
journey. The client has been living in a non-threatening, monotonous, safe and
comfortable life and wants to experience the scary and exhilarating experience
of trying something new.
The problem for most people is
that the scary and dangerous frighten them back into the safe and monotonous
comfort zone of their life.
The exceptional person realises
this is likely to happen and hires a coach to enable them to not only make the
changes also to turn the change into the norm.
Do it now, take action and contact Martin for more
Concept from Curly Martin, pioneer of life coach
training & international best-selling author -
LifePosted by Martin 02 Mar, 2016 12:10
The only difference between someone who is successful and someone
who is not so successful is that the successful person possesses great focus.
We live in a hectic world and it easy to become sidetracked by
things that steal our attention and time e.g. web browsing, non urgent emails,
telephone calls etc. etc.
This makes us less effective in life or as businesspeople. Many
people operate in “overwhelmed” mode. They become submersed in their daily
activities, unable to get off the hamster wheel of meetings and reactionary
emails and calls. Their true professional goals begin to drift farther and
farther away and they try to compensate by robbing time and attention from
their personal lives. The outcome is very poor work life balance.
Focus is not something that comes naturally for most people; it
is a skill that requires mental discipline. It must be learned, refined and
practiced. In order to take the intentional steps necessary to get what you
want, you must first understand exactly what that is. You have to develop a
vision. What do you really want!
Write out a clear and authentic vision for your life and refer to
This first crucial exercise enables willing changes in behaviour.
The second step involves identifying and concentrating on what really matters
as you work to fulfil your vision and filter out the distractions that hinder
Success truly hinges on the ability to cut through the clutter
and emphasise the high-leverage activities that are the backbone of reaching
your vision. If you can do that, you will be able to act and accomplish your
vision results faster.
If you require further help with this please contact Martin at New Focus Coaching
ChangePosted by Martin 09 Feb, 2016 10:54
......... Continuing from Part 1 ....….
Ways to Learn From Failure – part 2
from trying and failing again and again that so many things worth achieving
have been accomplished, from Alexander Graham Bell trial-and-erroring his way
to inventing the telephone to Ferdinand Zeppelin achieving flight, after many
how can you use “failure” to your advantage? Try these five steps:
1. Stop judging. Silence your inner critic. What
happened? Forgive yourself and others—shame and resentment only hold you back.
So instead of dwelling on the past, focus on what you can do in the present and
the future. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Nothing is perfect. Just learn from
what happened and continue to improve.
2. Focus on WHY. Like a determined, unbiased
detective, explore and list all the possible reasons the outcome occurred. This
vital collection of data will help craft your next approach.
If you can, try to determine what precise variables created the outcome. For
example, when my client went through this process, he chose to swallow his
pride and ask his point person why he lost the big account. What he learned
helped him land his next three accounts.
3. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Fear of
failure can cause paralysis—from over analysing but never plunging, from staying
within the realm of certainty. But powerful change doesn’t usually occur in the
comfort zone. So take a chance, make a calculated leap…. Allow yourself to get
into a state of discomfort. That is the only way you can fulfil your potential.
4. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. No one
reaches the finish line on the first try. Your path will have its ups and
downs, too. Don’t dwell on each 100-meter sprint; focus on your long-term goal.
5. Acknowledge your progress. Try to ditch
any all-or-nothing thinking you might be guilty of. What does that mean? “I
haven’t succeeded yet” is not the same as “I failed.” If you’re halfway through
running a marathon, should you criticize yourself for the miles you haven’t yet
covered? No! You acknowledge the tremendous progress you’ve already made—and
you keep going. And before you know it, you’ll be more than halfway there.
let fear stop you from fulfilling your goals. And don’t settle for the safe
plan. Learn from the past to create the present and future you desire.
If you require help with this or other areas of change contact Martin at New Focus Coaching.
Originally posted by: Elizabeth Lombardo November 17, 2014
ChangePosted by Martin 25 Jan, 2016 12:13
I saw this article and thought is was worth highlighting.
Note it comes in 2 parts.
…messing up during a big presentation.
…blowing the job interview.
…watching the project you worked so hard on go up in smoke.
picturing any one of those scenarios can make our pulses rise and our stomachs
fall. This is because we, as humans, dread failure. The anticipation of it can
lead to stress, anxiety, anger, shame, regret - all of which can get in the way
of pursuing the lives we want to lead.
this: Some people might long for a career boost—a new challenge, a promotion,
even starting a business—but the fear of failing keeps them from taking the
risks needed to effect that change. So instead they hold back, reluctant to
give 100 percent, and others are so paralysed by fear that they never even try.
about failure can bring people to dwell on the details, maybe even berate
themselves over the outcome. I think of this as rubbing salt in a wound. It
hurts, and it prevents healing.
why not reframe this concept of failure?
a clinical psychologist, I specialize in helping entrepreneurs get out of their
own way so they can have the successful businesses they want. One client came
in distraught that he hadn’t landed a big account he’d worked so hard to get.
did everything I could,” he told me. “I put hours into that presentation—even
bought a new suit, spent time and money I didn’t have. Now I’m back at square
asked him why he thought he didn’t get the account. With a look of annoyance he
responded, “Because I wasn’t good enough.”
probed him for further possible reasons. This was a bold move considering his
level of frustration, but I hoped to uncover what was really at play here. “I
don’t know. Because they never wanted to work with us to begin with and were
just stringing me along.”
continued this process. After imagining numerous possible explanations, my
client realized, “I guess I don’t really know why they turned us down.”
not getting the outcome you want can be tough. I’m not pretending otherwise.
The key, though, is to not let this setback keep you from moving forward.
by the way, it’s not failure—it’s data.
high school science? The scientific method is all about failure. Sometimes the
findings are consistent with the hypothesis and sometimes not. So you note
which ingredients or measurements didn’t produce the desired result, and you
try again with different ones—taking a different approach.
not failure—it’s data.
next week for part 2…….
ChangePosted by Martin 20 Jan, 2016 11:06
to Keep Moving Forward to Your Goal
reaching your end goal and outcome isn’t easy, and it’s crucial to acknowledge
that from the beginning.
understanding will help when you hit obstacles along the way - because setbacks are inevitable.
Even the most successful people in the world
If you never fail, you never learn.
Think about learning to ride a bicycle – no
one ever just got on one and rode away!
Say you’re a
golfer, and you hit a shot into a bunker. If you get upset, your next shot will
probably be worse. Instead tell yourself: What
happened, happened. I’m going to start again. I’m going to hit the best shot I
constantly hit hurdles, closely examine your environment. What factors at home,
in your career or in your social circle could be working against you?
If you keep
doing the same thing and fail, you will keep getting the same results – so
If you fail
Is this the thing I really wanted?
What have I learned from my failure?
Do I want to try again?
If it’s the real thing, you
will want to do it again, you will persist.